Question:
What happens if I am not married in the Church but I feel like God and I are on good terms?
Answer:
I shall speak to you as someone who looks for your spiritual wellbeing and only your happiness. As you well seem to sense, in the law of God, it is not good to co-live with another without being married. This is called cohabitation. Those who are not legitimately united in marriage cannot live together and it would be fitting that they get married according to the law of God or separate. If for some grave reason you cannot fulfil neither of the two things mentioned, then, you should at least live in perfect chastity, which includes not only in abstaining from sexual relations but also from all expressions of affection which properly correspond to those who are married. If two people of different gender live under the same roof “like siblings”, there would not be any moral objections, unless it be an occasion for temptations or be a cause of scandal for others, but if they live affectionately like spouses, even when they do not have sexual relations, that situation is morally incorrect.
In respect to your question, I have to tell you that your situation is certainly an obstacle for your spiritual life, since it impedes your reception of the sacraments, due to the situation of sin in which you are living in. Repenting of one’s sins and a firm purpose not to sin again is a necessary condition for the validity of the sacrament of confession. That is to say, following Gods commandments, which lead away from sin and occasions of sin. Those who do not have these dispositions cannot be forgiven of their sins nor receive Holy Communion consistently.
I pray to God that you can soon find a remedy to that situation so that you can find God and peace in your soul. I commended you to Our Lady, who is the refuge of sinners (that is to say, our refuge), and the help of all Christians. Do not be afraid to make the decisions that are necessary for the salvation of your soul. Talk to the person that you are living with, and talk also with a priest that can orient you better than I through this letter. Know that you are not alone, and you can count on the prayers and sacrifice of all the faithful who pray for those who are found in situations like yours (which there are many).
Fr. Miguel A. Fuentes, IVE
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